Shame: a springboard to success

Have you ever felt that feeling you get when you just can’t seem to find a way forward? It’s crippling, keeping us in a holding pattern, planted in quicksand, unable to drag our feet out of the quagmire and make a step. The wet sand weighs us down, there is pressure, it’s sticky and it has a hold on us, and it takes all strength we can muster to break the seal and forge a pathway out.

Sometimes this feeling is a result of the shame we feel for not making a go of it. For not defining our own dreams and therefore being dragged along into someone else’s dream. For not making good or wise or thoughtful decisions, or for just letting life go on around us and suddenly waking up a decade later and wondering why we are not doing what we want to do.

 

"Where are you sitting? What are you wearing? Who is on the sidelines cheering you on?"

 

Have you ever felt like this? It’s a pretty bleak way to feel. I have a friend who says, “Your inner critic is a jerk!” To find a way forward, we need to gag that critic for long enough to get moving. This means no looking back, a little less feeling sorry for ourselves, and a whole lot of looking to where hope is found. Imagine yourself 3 years down the track, living the life you want to live. Where are you sitting? What are you wearing? Who is on the sidelines cheering you on? What does it look like, smell like, sound like? Immerse yourself in a complete sensory awareness of the moment of success.

Ask yourself, “Can I make one small step in the direction I want head towards?” Can I do it this week, or even today? Each day, ask the same question…change takes time, but imagine it as a rusty hinge, with every drop of oil and every little jiggle, the movement gets easier, the feeling is freer and eventually you will find yourself in a flow state, where time seems to stand still, only now, instead of waking up in ten years wondering what on earth has been going on…you emerge like a butterfly from its’ chrysalis, transformed into a magical, mystical being… who gets stuff done!

Now, that was easy!